We are currently inviting submissions to the 2011 Dementia Creative Arts Exhibition on the theme of 'Dreams...' Please follow the link below to find out more:
http://www.dcae2011.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
1st Dementia Creative Arts Exhibition 2009: 'Relationships'
To view the first Dementia Creative Arts Exhibition 2009: 'Relationships' please follow the link below:
http://www.dcae2009.blogspot.com/
http://www.dcae2009.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Love's Lament by Barry Pankhurst
This is a poem I wrote dedicated to my dear wife Sumi
(As a person who has Alzheimer's the thoughts of Love and Lose are constantly on my mind which made me write this poem about my dear wife and my inner feelings)
yet the heart within you was echoing out lament,
For those destined moments since set to one side,
as the confusions within me will not subside,
this illness of my mind, is just tearing me apart,
but this loving kiss I can still place on your heart,
I'd dreamed of twilight years, walking hand in hand,
the romance of our love, defying the blossoms of time,
for the love in your heart, had been more than mere words,
since you entered my life, with the tenderness of your soul,
Now as my being diminishes betwixt life and death,
yet still comely unto my eyes, is your every breath,
so weep not a tear for what you behold in your arms,
as my spirit will guide thee, ever steadfast and strong,
Then whence I lay my head upon the soft clouds of God,
embalm my body with every essence of your love,
thus as your guardian angel, I shall forever oversee,
until time doth come for ye to accompany me,
Thence once more we shall enfold our undying love,
never parting us again, with sorrowful lament
Barry Pankhurst, who lives in Indonesia
http://www.simplesite.com/BarrysAlzheimers
Barry has written two books of poetry - Alzheimer's Miasma and The setting sun of Alzheimer's
(see http://www.i-proclaimbookstore.com/ )
(As a person who has Alzheimer's the thoughts of Love and Lose are constantly on my mind which made me write this poem about my dear wife and my inner feelings)
My head lay cushioned, upon your silken breast,
your tears of sorrow, caressing at my nape,
as the fingers of an angel, soothing my brow,
yet the heart within you was echoing out lament,
For those destined moments since set to one side,
as the confusions within me will not subside,
this illness of my mind, is just tearing me apart,
but this loving kiss I can still place on your heart,
I'd dreamed of twilight years, walking hand in hand,
the romance of our love, defying the blossoms of time,
for the love in your heart, had been more than mere words,
since you entered my life, with the tenderness of your soul,
Now as my being diminishes betwixt life and death,
yet still comely unto my eyes, is your every breath,
so weep not a tear for what you behold in your arms,
as my spirit will guide thee, ever steadfast and strong,
Then whence I lay my head upon the soft clouds of God,
embalm my body with every essence of your love,
thus as your guardian angel, I shall forever oversee,
until time doth come for ye to accompany me,
Thence once more we shall enfold our undying love,
never parting us again, with sorrowful lament
Barry Pankhurst, who lives in Indonesia
http://www.simplesite.com/BarrysAlzheimers
Barry has written two books of poetry - Alzheimer's Miasma and The setting sun of Alzheimer's
(see http://www.i-proclaimbookstore.com/ )
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Exhibition to take place next week - May 25th-28th - central Sheffield
The 2nd Dementia Creative Arts Exhibtion: Love will be showing again in Sheffield between 25th and 28th May 2010.
The venue is Jessop West Exhibition Space (opposite University of Sheffield tramstop and Henderson's Relish sign - very near to West Street).
Please come along and think again about dementia.
Open 10am-4pm, Tuesday to Friday.
Please contact David Reid (d.reid@sheffield.ac.uk) for further details.
The venue is Jessop West Exhibition Space (opposite University of Sheffield tramstop and Henderson's Relish sign - very near to West Street).
Please come along and think again about dementia.
Open 10am-4pm, Tuesday to Friday.
Please contact David Reid (d.reid@sheffield.ac.uk) for further details.
Alzheimer’s/Dementia by Connie Whiteley
There is a percentage of self satisfied professional health workers, who once you retire, have, it seems, one MANTRA, asking a question on any problem, answer, you must expect it it’s your age.
With Alzheimer’s/Dementia, very often no explanation or advice given, yet in magazines and other written pamphlets, information and advice is, use your brain, follow good diet plus exercise, can hold and slow the progress of the disease. Is it the never bothered to check information on this creeping disease.
My Mother’s descent into the disease started in her 70’s, always busy and able, had cared for her mother until her death, had cared for periods, for my brother, who was an erratic diabetic.
She lost her husband in 1978 which seemed then to make the situation noticeable. Lost my husband in 1984, family smothered me in kindness, couldn’t stand it.
Had in 79 got Mum in Day Centre, felt she needed stimulation, being there seemed happy.
I told family to take care of her and took off, went on world trip, her forgetfulness far more noticeable after I got back. She knew what was happening, her faer was palpable, the only thing holding her together was being there for my brother, he had by this time a colostomy, he needed much more help, kept getting hypos from diabetes and was hospitalised often.
She was so afraid of things as memory deteriorated, that I moved in with her 1991, it helped her a little but disease not halted, only time it seemed to be put on back burner was if Jimmy had a hypo, her brain seemed to just clear, she either brought him round or called an ambulance if unsuccessful.
Jimmy died in 2000, she seemed to understand, was very quiet, his funeral was at Honor Oak crematorium, she insisted on going. On the way there, on the way back she had completely lost it saying how good it was Jimmy could be buried with our father, he had died in 1935 and was buried at Bow.
Undertakers had assured me that they had capabilities to handle disabled people. When we arrived home they got her wheelchair from boot, a cousin had to come forward to set it up, Mum couldn’t grasp she had to change from car to chair, she was so bewildered, no one came forward, I ended up lifting her from car into her chair.
As soon as got in home realised she couldn’t stay among mourners, for to her a crowd, put her to bed, all the family members went one by one to speak to her but soon returned, she couldn’t remember them. It cleared the place nicely though, all sorry couldn’t stay and help.
She really was like a child, she had always been very gentle and loving and these qualities shone through.
She didn’t really know who I was, she clung – I seemed to be her safety chain as long as I was there she felt she was safe.
She had a panic button around her neck, when I needed to pop out to nearby shop for milk or something it seemed I no sooner had left when she used it, first time I went she called them saying her daughter had gone out and was missing she was worried, could they look for me. I got back quite quickly just before they contacted the police.
The strangest thing I think, she didn’t know who I was, yet suddenly when she thought I was in danger, as with Jimmy, she seemed to have a clearing of brain to respond to warning with no hesitation, a real example of a Mother’s love.
She had over the years fallen and injured herself, in 2002 she fell, broke her femur again, already had a bolt in, had to insert a second one.
Physiotherapists tried always to get her on her feet but she was afraid of falling again. Social workers were making arrangements for help to come in morning and evening. I tried lifting her on to bedpan, wasn’t strong enough (had several bouts of pneumonia and three major abdominal operations) I said she would be stuck in bed at home or got up and sat in chair, no way could she go downstairs, I couldn’t help her onto her stairlift, couldn’t even get her to toilet; what were the options.
I went to look and choose a residential home at Camberwell Green.
She seemed contented, I went in everyday to make sure she was okay, most of time spoke of her Mum, held quite long conversations with her and her siblings who had already passed on.
She also was singing in the lounge all the pre and war I and II she had at her recall, in those days they bought song sheets with the verses on them, amazed me she recalled them all. In the end when people wanted to watch TV she was upsetting them.
I bought a CD player, went shop on corner of Baylisss Road, Waterloo, who have marvellous range of CDs and books. Bought myself books and some jazz CDs, then sorted through for Mum. Got quite a few CDs, whose music she would have danced to ‘20s/’30s. Also some of the popular types from ‘40s. Then looked for old hymns for Sunday – managed to get traditional with traditional music.
When I got to home, got them to put Mum to bed a little early, sat with CD player when she was settled, played one CD, she was so happy to hear the music being played, I started singing along and she joined in, we made it a normal routine everyday, on Sunday when I started the hymns she settled and held my hand and sang with me, it was for me though a complete stranger to her, a happy time, she felt safe I felt we had a tenuous connection once again through the music.
In 2004 she caught a chest infection, ended in Kings College Hospital, unconscious, I was there and a couple of close family members travelled up to see her. Doctors said they couldn’t offer a lot of hope, but they pumped her full of antibiotics, killed the infection and as soon as she was okay went back to Home, following 2 weeks was okay then caught another infection. Doctor once again wanted to know if I wanted them to keep resuscitating her, I said no. I couldn’t bear the thought of what she would go through, she was 96 and no way would she have chosen the life it was necessary for her to endure.
After a few days she was more or less comatose. I sat with her till time to go. I bent over, kissed her and said am going home to bed Mum. Goodnight, God bless, I love you. First time that day she reacted, a beautiful smile appeared.
I arrived at 9am following morning, she had passed 8am, I went to the chapel and said a prayer, in front of me, I could see the smile she gave as I left her the night before, I knew a feeling of peace, she was happy back with her Mum.
---
As an addenda to this, I would ask that the carers (family members) who bear the brunt of this terrible disease, be given physical and mental checks regularly, because of pressure to make sure I could make Mum feel safe, I didn’t realise I was working a lot of time on adrenalin, when all cleared away no need to be alert all the time I collapsed in on myself, bouts of pneumonia had left me with asthma, it was getting worse. Went to Kings College Hosp to join their research programme, found past asthma had emphysema and COPD. Had heard and other long problems now diabetes and rheumatism now, some of these if taken as part of Alzheimer’s treatment could have been controlled and alleviated earlier. Carers do not think to go to GP for a cough – haven’t time.
With Alzheimer’s/Dementia, very often no explanation or advice given, yet in magazines and other written pamphlets, information and advice is, use your brain, follow good diet plus exercise, can hold and slow the progress of the disease. Is it the never bothered to check information on this creeping disease.
My Mother’s descent into the disease started in her 70’s, always busy and able, had cared for her mother until her death, had cared for periods, for my brother, who was an erratic diabetic.
She lost her husband in 1978 which seemed then to make the situation noticeable. Lost my husband in 1984, family smothered me in kindness, couldn’t stand it.
Had in 79 got Mum in Day Centre, felt she needed stimulation, being there seemed happy.
I told family to take care of her and took off, went on world trip, her forgetfulness far more noticeable after I got back. She knew what was happening, her faer was palpable, the only thing holding her together was being there for my brother, he had by this time a colostomy, he needed much more help, kept getting hypos from diabetes and was hospitalised often.
She was so afraid of things as memory deteriorated, that I moved in with her 1991, it helped her a little but disease not halted, only time it seemed to be put on back burner was if Jimmy had a hypo, her brain seemed to just clear, she either brought him round or called an ambulance if unsuccessful.
Jimmy died in 2000, she seemed to understand, was very quiet, his funeral was at Honor Oak crematorium, she insisted on going. On the way there, on the way back she had completely lost it saying how good it was Jimmy could be buried with our father, he had died in 1935 and was buried at Bow.
Undertakers had assured me that they had capabilities to handle disabled people. When we arrived home they got her wheelchair from boot, a cousin had to come forward to set it up, Mum couldn’t grasp she had to change from car to chair, she was so bewildered, no one came forward, I ended up lifting her from car into her chair.
As soon as got in home realised she couldn’t stay among mourners, for to her a crowd, put her to bed, all the family members went one by one to speak to her but soon returned, she couldn’t remember them. It cleared the place nicely though, all sorry couldn’t stay and help.
She really was like a child, she had always been very gentle and loving and these qualities shone through.
She didn’t really know who I was, she clung – I seemed to be her safety chain as long as I was there she felt she was safe.
She had a panic button around her neck, when I needed to pop out to nearby shop for milk or something it seemed I no sooner had left when she used it, first time I went she called them saying her daughter had gone out and was missing she was worried, could they look for me. I got back quite quickly just before they contacted the police.
The strangest thing I think, she didn’t know who I was, yet suddenly when she thought I was in danger, as with Jimmy, she seemed to have a clearing of brain to respond to warning with no hesitation, a real example of a Mother’s love.
She had over the years fallen and injured herself, in 2002 she fell, broke her femur again, already had a bolt in, had to insert a second one.
Physiotherapists tried always to get her on her feet but she was afraid of falling again. Social workers were making arrangements for help to come in morning and evening. I tried lifting her on to bedpan, wasn’t strong enough (had several bouts of pneumonia and three major abdominal operations) I said she would be stuck in bed at home or got up and sat in chair, no way could she go downstairs, I couldn’t help her onto her stairlift, couldn’t even get her to toilet; what were the options.
I went to look and choose a residential home at Camberwell Green.
She seemed contented, I went in everyday to make sure she was okay, most of time spoke of her Mum, held quite long conversations with her and her siblings who had already passed on.
She also was singing in the lounge all the pre and war I and II she had at her recall, in those days they bought song sheets with the verses on them, amazed me she recalled them all. In the end when people wanted to watch TV she was upsetting them.
I bought a CD player, went shop on corner of Baylisss Road, Waterloo, who have marvellous range of CDs and books. Bought myself books and some jazz CDs, then sorted through for Mum. Got quite a few CDs, whose music she would have danced to ‘20s/’30s. Also some of the popular types from ‘40s. Then looked for old hymns for Sunday – managed to get traditional with traditional music.
When I got to home, got them to put Mum to bed a little early, sat with CD player when she was settled, played one CD, she was so happy to hear the music being played, I started singing along and she joined in, we made it a normal routine everyday, on Sunday when I started the hymns she settled and held my hand and sang with me, it was for me though a complete stranger to her, a happy time, she felt safe I felt we had a tenuous connection once again through the music.
In 2004 she caught a chest infection, ended in Kings College Hospital, unconscious, I was there and a couple of close family members travelled up to see her. Doctors said they couldn’t offer a lot of hope, but they pumped her full of antibiotics, killed the infection and as soon as she was okay went back to Home, following 2 weeks was okay then caught another infection. Doctor once again wanted to know if I wanted them to keep resuscitating her, I said no. I couldn’t bear the thought of what she would go through, she was 96 and no way would she have chosen the life it was necessary for her to endure.
After a few days she was more or less comatose. I sat with her till time to go. I bent over, kissed her and said am going home to bed Mum. Goodnight, God bless, I love you. First time that day she reacted, a beautiful smile appeared.
I arrived at 9am following morning, she had passed 8am, I went to the chapel and said a prayer, in front of me, I could see the smile she gave as I left her the night before, I knew a feeling of peace, she was happy back with her Mum.
---
As an addenda to this, I would ask that the carers (family members) who bear the brunt of this terrible disease, be given physical and mental checks regularly, because of pressure to make sure I could make Mum feel safe, I didn’t realise I was working a lot of time on adrenalin, when all cleared away no need to be alert all the time I collapsed in on myself, bouts of pneumonia had left me with asthma, it was getting worse. Went to Kings College Hosp to join their research programme, found past asthma had emphysema and COPD. Had heard and other long problems now diabetes and rheumatism now, some of these if taken as part of Alzheimer’s treatment could have been controlled and alleviated earlier. Carers do not think to go to GP for a cough – haven’t time.
Monday, 17 May 2010
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